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mypenisusedquickattack:

How I look in the mirror

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How I look in pictures

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heliolisk:

heteroh:

foodvacuum:

dimedog:

look at this fucked up bird

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what the fuck

are those its titties

okay yea bird tiddys yea haha but what the fuck is that thing

it kinda looks like balls when they be bouncing

yewglow:

randomlittlespark:

jesusinc:

"nerd" and"loser" were like hard hitting insults in the early 2000’s and now they are used as affectionate terms we have truly come full circle

Sorry, but no, we did a 180. A full circle would mean we went back to them as insults

nerd

darkminho:

checking your phone in the middle of the night

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zackisontumblr:

i have 3 moods:

  • skips every song on my ipod
  • lets the music play without interruption
  • plays the same song on repeat for days

amortizing:

2014 is half over and

  • -i lost no weight
  • -didn’t learn anything
  • -haven’t made an effort to save money
  • -still ugly

rnessage:

be nice to people because the world is a shitty place and we all need a little help sometimes

working retail

noknuckles:

me: hi how are you today?
customer: JUST LOOKING.

putins-boyfriend:

instagrarn:

when you flawlessly rap that verse

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 humour
At the groceries store

calakazam:

toyota:

Me: can u give me x²+4y+ of tomatoes & 2(x²+8xy^3) of potatoes please

Seller: I dont understand

Me: well i dont give a fuck i didnt study in vain

those are polynomials you asked for a neverending curve of tomatoes

*ssssk ssssk ssssk ssssk*

officialcrow:

ah i see youve noticed me walking in my pants made of windbreaker material

yoladni:

did Delilah ever say what it’s like in new york city???